F*ckin L*ve

Ah, the L word. Do I throw it around way too easily? Hell yes. Do I mean it anyway? yes.

It's wonderful how the things we love the most in life, the things we live and die for, are the things we most take for granted. I realize that "wonderful" is a pretty odd term...doesn't sound that wonderful. However, I typed wonderful, then my though changed, so I just decided to run with it.
So, wonderful. yes. I remember how in Benjamin Button, which is, if nothing else, a really interesting thing to sort of think about and put your shoes in... I mean, imagine starting really old and aging backwards, meeting people in the middle... imagine how much you would thirst after and appreciate life, or would we just let more and different things get in the way... but an old lady says, "That's why people die, so we realize how much they meant to us." or something of the sort. Maybe the meaning is all in the discovery of something. And the wonderful thing is, there are certain things that we can never stop discovering about. So maybe, we need to take things for granted for the time being, so that we can continually appreciate them as time goes along, and we continue to discover them. Taking them for granted is but a veil; for the brief moments it is lifted, that is why I live.

I find it more and more difficult to give my heart away. I don't think it has become hardened or anything of the sort. At least, I'd like to think it is just the case that I have grown and learned what is fulfilling to give my heart to.
Are you worth it? Prove it to me. I'll give the benefit of the doubt, but how my heart behaves... not something I can entirely control.
Ah, the L word. sort of like the F word, which the clever title implies. ha. forbidden unless in the right company.

But really, when I think of you, I dream. I dream of the future, of what we could have, how I'll see what we do have... I dream of dandelion seeds, clinging for dear life to their silken white parachutes, drifting off in the late afternoon summer breeze... I dream of the wish that has traveled with them.

I dream of meeting people nobody's ever truly gotten to know before, of going places that others have been to but never really seen before, and of doing things that have been thought about but never really done before.
And the difference is not you, or me. It's that we will be together through this. And, as we discover what is slowly unveiled, we will not be able to stop until we become flesh and blood with all that we love.
Blazing trails, each one new for the simple reason that we are making them together, from the perspective of us, rather than any other.

Even if only in mind, you have my heart. If nothing else, it's a start.

Here's to the days where the spinning hands of the clock decide to just stop running aimlessly, relax, and shake with each other.
Here's to the feelings we thought we've felt, weren't sure, but acted on them anyway, and found that we felt them.
Here's to the things that we can't feel, but we know.

Here's to the days we felt Red.

Once more, with feeling.

I look back at these previous posts. My, my my... how my focus has changed over the years. or rather, taken on different objects toward the end. Which end would that be? Don't feel like explaining. I'll answer with the cryptic term "Life".

The Chumscrubber

I am not feeling particularly creative at the moment, but i don't really have to explain anything to a blog audience, now do I? In face, as i type, my tired, clumsy fingers are missing the appropriate keys. The Backspace Key is getting a lot of love tonight.

I just watched this movie for the second time. The first was at Kenbrook. Glorious Kenbrook, where I was a product of my own idealism. My how the seasons change, and with them, those who behold them.
We were all crowded on the porch. J-Dubs, Amanda, Webbie, Jake, and I. I think Seth had gone to bed. He always sleeps a lot. After all, he is perfectly content wherever he is, whatever he's doing. Too much so, perhaps.
This movie is ridiculously good, and I don't think anyone's ever heard of it except those who have heard of Jake... I'll resist the urge to write a review. If you're reading this, you probably trust me, at least that this is worth reading. And, if you've made it this far, we're probably close to the same sort of wavelength, and you would enjoy a movie I do. So enjoy it.