Chasing a Ghost, for the first time all over again.

All i wanted was to hold your hand, walking through fields of daisies as we smelled them for the first time. As we touched the warmth of the sun for the first time, as we heard the singing of the birds and the buzz of the bees and tasted the summer evening air for the first time.
Together we would build cities without walls, we would travel around the world spreading seeds of wildflowers, hoping that they would spring up and cover the black earth which so often permeated even our own lives. We would find beauty in imperfection, and we would breathe it in day after day until we finally began to truly grasp it.

The world would be that one great big jigsaw puzzle that we loved sitting around, under lamplight in an attic, and putting together, piece by piece, even though we knew it would never be complete.

We would spend the days sitting together under the maple tree, placing band-aids and tears on each others' wounds as they appeared on our flesh, nursing them until they healed. Then we would kiss the scars.

but you push me away, and i am broken, even though i convinced myself i don't need you.